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Damn you, nemesis, and Listen Darling poster, bitches!!

Now, before I get into this, you must understand--when I get paid moderate amounts of money, the first thing I do is go Judy shopping. Everything else comes second. So I get massive amounts of records, movies, memorabilia, what have you, from Rasputin, Amazon, eBay, and Etsy.

So today, after getting paid a moderate amount of money from St. Paul's last Friday, I spent time Judy shopping on eBay. I'm a pretty savvy eBay shopper, I can tell easily if something is a sham or overpriced. It's especially important to be able to do that with Judy memorabilia because there are a lot of people who will take advantage of the legions of Judy fans who will practically buy anything and everything because it is Judy (I am one of those people)--so Extreme Judy Fandom 101 is to learn how to identify the details of her signature so you don't get ripped off with people trying to hock a fake autograph for like, $2,000 or something. And people do, I've seen it--I've been able to identify her autograph since I was 11 and there are these crooks that try to take advantage of idiotic Judy fans.

So today I was after this 1940s original photo of Judy and Mickey and was outbid when there were like, 20 minutes left of the auction. I thought I would be super cunning and wait until there were 2 minutes left and outbid this nemesis of mine, thus rendering him unable to outbid me due to time constraints. However, it seems that this lunatic eBay buyer had the exact same idea. When I outbid him with 2 minutes left on the clock and was named the high bidder, my nemesis outbid me within 30 seconds. I thought DAMN! and outbid him again. Then WTF--HE OUTBID ME, putting the price up from $15 to a fricking $35!!! Now, under normal circumstances, I would have fought back (I put up a hard fight for the December 11, 1944 issue of Life Magazine with Judy on the cover when I got it off eBay last winter, and eventually got it for somewhere around $45, oy vay...anything for Judy) but my mother is demanding $50 from me this week so I truthfully couldn't afford to bid any higher on that particular item. The fucker got away with it. DAMN YOU, NEMESIS!! *shakes fist at the sky*

BUT, Saint Judy, patron saint of the overmedicated, made it all worth it by making available a WONDROUS poster from Listen Darling (for all those folks who don't know what Listen, Darling is, you are hereby declared normal. I, however, basically know the whole movie and am hereby declared completely off my rocker) that I bid on early on this afternoon, with like, 6 hours left or something and 0 BIDS. So I bid on it, and I just found out a little bit ago that I got it!!! WHOOO!!



Isn't it pretty??

Isn't Judy tiny (she grew up to be a whopping 4'11" tall, here, at age 15, she is most likely even shorter)??

Isn't your friend completely insane??

Comments

UGH. FUCKING NEMESIS. CUNTWHORE. BIIITCH.

People will do anything when it comes to Judy, I swear. I've been known to viciously outbid people in the last like... THREE SECONDS, and I am not ashamed.

I've never lost a Judy auction, except there is one particular magazine with Judy on the cover that I tried to bid on over a span of four years. FOUR YEARS. And every damn auction that I viciously bid on... proved to be a disappointment. I suppose JUDY just didn't want me to have it.

If you simply must know, it's thisss magazine:



Reflecting back on it, I should have known that bidding on it was a lost cause by that evil look in her eyes.
This is the only Judy auction I have ever lost. My self-esteem went down like 10 million points after I lost it, I SO would have outbid him too, if my mom weren't demanding that fucking $50. Arrrrghdsk;odrtj;sero.

Yeah, Judy looks like she's daring you to bid on the magazine in that picture.
Seriously! Why can't I ever win that magazine? I basically gave up. I mean... really... how many people are clamoring for the June 1943 issue of Modern Screen? Garland or no Garland, there's no need for me to have lost 3 separate auctions over a span of like... 1000-something days (literalllly).

Perhaps it's ALAN LADD'S AMAZING LIFE STORY! that they're after.

Or maybe even the $1,000 that they can win.

It's probably that advice on taxes and bonds that's got everyone hog wild over this issue.
That's it!! It's ALAN LADD'S AMAZING LIFE STORY!! Every normal human being wants to read about a movie star who has faded into obscurity for everyone except you, me, and a handful of other insane people over the age of 87. The $1,000 is definitely an added bonus in the matter, as is the always valuable advice on taxes and bonds (it takes both??). Maybe it's the fact that this magazine is STILL 10 CENTS.
Ah, you lucky butt! Ya know whats funny, is that she was only 4 "11, and yet was a lot taller than Mickey Rooney, so how tall was he?
The Roons was 5'2", but Judy was wearing heels most of the time so it always looked like she was taller!

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